COMEDY HEALTH JOKES - CHUTKULE - COMEDY -2 - ggstarhealth

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Wednesday, July 25, 2018

COMEDY HEALTH JOKES - CHUTKULE - COMEDY -2




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16.

A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!”
 
Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“


17.
 Doctor: “Do you do sports?”

Patient: “Does sex count?”

Doctor: “Yes.”

Patient: “Then no.”


18

Oh darling, since you’ve started dieting, you’ve become such a passionate kisser…

What do you mean, passionate? I’m looking for food remains!


19

Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.”
 
Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?”
 
Doctor: “Every two hours.”


20.

Sleep with an open window tonight! 

1400 mosquitos like that. 420 mosquitos commented on it. 210 mosquitos shared this. 

One mosquito invited for the event. 2800 mosquitos will be attending the event.


21
 “My wife suffers from a drinking problem.”
-
“Oh is she an alcoholic?”
-
“No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers.”


22.
I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $950 to cover the loss.
 
I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship.


23.
 
One Channel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!






24.

Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”

Patient: “OK.”

Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”


25.
 Don’t be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that dogs can’t fly.


26.

Why do you see so few black people on ocean cruises?
-
Well, they're not going to fall for that one again.


27.

Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I’d still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike.


28.

One state official to the other: "I don't know what people have against us - We haven't done anything."


29.

Wife arrives home late at night from a business trip and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. But she notices four legs instead of two peeking from under the blanket! 

Seized by a fit of rage, she reaches for the baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket until the screaming stops. 

Still in shock, she lurches to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

"Oh welcome home darling," he says, "my parents came for a visit, so I let them have our bedroom. I hope you said hello."


30.

Today I went to a barber’s shop for a shave. The barber asked me to put a small wooden ball in my mouth so he could get a closer shave around my cheeks.


I asked: “But what if I swallow the ball?”

He replied: “No problem sir, you just bring it back tomorrow like everybody else.”



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