COMEDY HEALTH JOKES - CHUTKULE - COMEDY -4 - ggstarhealth

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Friday, July 27, 2018

COMEDY HEALTH JOKES - CHUTKULE - COMEDY -4


Funniest jokes, quotes and sayings:

The best jokes - Be Healthy 


51.

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. 

So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?” 

One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!” 

So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?” 

That’s about as far as I remember.


 52.

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.


53.
The inventor of AutoCorrect is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right off.


 54.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? 
-
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.


55.
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."


56.

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 5:25 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 5:10 one.


57.

 Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?

My name is Paul.


58.

A police officer stops a car.
 
Officer: “Your driver’s license please.”
 
Driver: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.”
 
Officer: “At home?”
 
Driver: “No, to do it.”


59.

Why is women’s soccer so rare?
-
It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.


60.

I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodka bottle.


61.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.


62.

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
-
Snowballs.


63.

Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

Patrick: "What school?"



64.

"Mom, where do tampons go?"

"Where the babies come from, darling."

"In the stork?"


 65.

My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary.




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